What About Newborn Fathers?

It's happened again. I'm paying for ads to try and reach more women with my message about caring for Newborn Mothers.

And I get the inevitable torrent of questions along the lines of “What about Newborn Fathers?”

And the answer I truly want to give… “What about my left knee?”

NM - Fathers.png

Instead, I just ignore those comments and keep on scrolling. But it happens so frequently - sometimes a few times a day - that I feel I really have to speak up and tell my truth.

The truth is I’m here to tell the story of Newborn Mothers.

But seriously, what about Newborn Fathers?

I know there are some big challenges facing men. It's likely rates of depression and anxiety are the same for fathers as mothers, but men are not being screened or diagnosed. There's no doubt that toxic masculinity is an issue for men who want to transcend their gender roles (as much as women) and spend less time in the office and more at home. I am aware that men become fathers and this can be a life-changing transition for them too.

All this is also true, but I’m here to tell the story of Newborn Mothers.

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about men - that would be pretty hard to do since they are pretty much everywhere! I’m aware of dads, in fact, there’s a whole lesson about them in my postpartum training, but I’m just not talking about men right now.

Because I’m here to tell the story of Newborn Mothers.

This story is not about men - men are in it - but this is a story about women. I know that can be challenging because we aren't used to women being centre stage.

In fact, the internalised sexism runs so deep that it is actually always women who are asking me what about men.

To borrow the words of Jessica Eaton:

"There’s only three things you can be certain of in life: taxes, death and some randomer yelling ‘what about men?’ every time you talk about women’s issues."

Don’t be that randomer.

For much more eloquent words on the topic of whataboutery read more here:

https://samanthanolansmith.com/mentoo/

https://victimfocus.wordpress.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/