Podcast - Episode 10 - 21st Century Village Building
You Are Here Because You Believe Birth Is About Making Mums Too.
Interview with Clelia Douglas
As a Newborn Mother, you are being invited to reinvent yourself because when a baby is born so is a mother, and the birth of a mother can be more intense than childbirth. You'll learn how to find peace and joy in the first 40 days after birth and how your postpartum experience can change your life.
In this episode, we are joined by Clelia Douglas, a mother of three who worked overseas for 12 years. Upon returning home to Australia, Clelia and her husband decided to build a house in a rural suburb on family land next to her parents and sisters. Being surrounded by family with similar aged children created a wonderful community to raise her family.
Clelia shares some tips for people who have lost their village. She talks about things she has done abroad to create a community and the barriers she had to overcome to move back home.
Tune in to learn more on this and other valuable topics!
On The Podcast:
What You Will Learn
[00:34] About Clelia
Clelia lives next door to her sisters and parents in Brisbane with her husband and three children, aged 7, 10 and 12.
She lived overseas for the last 12 years and gave birth to all of her babies overseas and had to work extra hard to find the support she needed.
Clelia believes that it’s really important for kids to be raised around a large network of people.
[05:34] Clelia’s experience of having the first baby
Clelia moved to Hawaii and found it difficult to find a community and friends as the population seemed full of retirees and military workers.
When it came time to give birth Clelia’s mother came and stayed for two months, helping with cooking and cleaning. It made a huge difference as she could rest and focus on her baby.
Family is the most important thing to Clelia’s mother. She leads the way and teaches her children this value.
[09:19] How Cleila decided to come back home
Clelia then had two babies in Aruba and later moved to London. Her husband was offered a job in Brisbane and while Clelia thought she would never want to live next to her family, her husband predicted she would spend all her time driving to see them if they didn’t.
Clelia’s father has since been diagnosed with dementia and has had the support of the whole family.
[11:45] The barriers Cleila had to overcome to make it back home
Clelia's family is very respectful of each other's space and are all busy with their own lives, so they’re not in each other's pockets too much.
Clelia's husband has found the move difficult at times, wanting a bit more privacy, but it's not that big of a deal and he gets along well with his brothers-in-law.
The set-up allows them to have multigenerational living outside of one roof.
[14:58] The things that did not work
Clelia says it’s been important to surround herself with people with similar values and boundaries in their parenting. She acknowledges that there is a degree of luck when you move to a new area with people who are already living there.
It’s important to have a dialogue with other parents to strike a good balance with everyone. If the relationship feels like a one-way street, it doesn't work.
[20:20] Tips for people who have lost their village
Open yourself up to people even if it means putting yourself in a vulnerable state to find your people.
Be happy to walk away when a situation doesn’t work and keep trying to find one that does.
Find an online community.
Connect with Clelia
Clelia was born and raised in Brisbane, and is part of a huge extended family. She and her husband have recently returned to Brisbane with their 3 children after living and working overseas for 12 years. Having birthed and raised a family overseas, Clelia sought out friendship and community that supported her in a way that her distant family was unable to. Upon returning to Brisbane, the family decided to build a house on extended family land in a rural suburb, next door to Clelia’s ageing parents and her sister’s families - it is fondly referred to as the commune. In addition to immediate family, a close knit neighbourhood with similar aged children has created a wonderful community in which to raise a family. The kids regularly free range amongst the houses, experiencing some of the freedoms and independence many of us cherish from our own childhoods. As her children grow, Clelia has embarked on a new career and is studying midwifery.
Newborn Mother’s Podcast
Do you feel like you've lost your village and don't know how to find it? Clelia Douglas offers an inspiring example of a multitude of ways to build 21st century villages. She has lived overseas as an expat and used a range of strategies to get the community and support she needs from paid help to living with her extended family.
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