Today's guest post is by Linda Anderson. She is a mother of three, life coach and self-proclaimed adventurer. Find out more at her website
When I noticed a new post from Julia in my Facebook feed recently titled “My Gripe with Self-Care” I knew I wanted to make time to read it. After all, I am a professional life coach who dedicates her skills to supporting mums who need help finding time and space for themselves, reconnecting with themselves and finding their sparkle again. Self-Care is always connected to Self-Care. Gosh… even my weekly newsletter is called #selfcaresunday so this topic was always going to draw me in.
I was honoured when Julia invited me to contribute a post connected to this very important social conversation about mums, self-care, and how we relate to it.
If self-care is not working for you as a mum there are three self-care mistakes you might be making:
1. Believing That You Are 100% Responsible For Your Self-Care
Often when I speak to mums about making time for themselves they see it as something that is 100% up to them to make happen. Yet another item on their already overloaded to-do list!
In my family we consider self-care to be a family responsibility. Each of us has our own self-care needs, in particular, my husband and I, so we work together as a team to help those needs be met.
I go into more detail about this idea in a recent blog post I wrote which you may find helpful.
2. Expecting Self-Care To Be Perfect
One of the biggest lessons I had to learn about my own self-care practices as a mother was that very rarely would they be “perfect” and that it doesn’t matter. From my own experience I can assure you that regular “imperfect” self-care will support you far better than no self-care at all.
- A 5-minute walk alone instead of a 30-minute run is always better than nothing at all
- A few “downward dogs” while the kids are occupied instead of my 90 minute Yoga class will always be better than not doing anything
- An apple in the car on the way to school is better than skipping breakfast all together
3. Feeling Selfish
Many mums I meet struggle with a sense of guilt, of feeling selfish, when they consider making real time and space for their needs. If this sounds like you I invite you to consider another perspective.
Wanting to make time and space for your own needs does not mean you are saying to your family “me first” or “me instead of you”… you are simply saying “me too”.
How would you feel if you could start saying… “me too”?
Linda Anderson is a life coach, blogger and mum of three. She recently moved from Sydney (Australia) to Waiheke Island (New Zealand) to fulfill a family dream. You can subscribe to her weekly newsletter #selfcaresunday, visit her website, or follow her on Facebook or Instagram. Linda also runs an online program, 5 Minutes 4 Mum.