The term self-care is getting more widely recognised each day, but just because we have heard about it doesn’t mean we actually know what self-care is.
One of the most common misunderstandings women make about self-care is that in order to look after ourselves more, we need to do more things that are good for us. But the real self-care we all need is something much more simple.
As a women’s mindset coach, I’ve noticed how when women begin to foster an awareness of self-compassion, their life suddenly gets easier even if nothing else changes around them.
You see, when we begin to focus more on emotional self-care through having more compassion for ourselves, we naturally find peace with where we are at now, both as women and mothers.
Which brings us to the conversation about what self-compassion really is
Self-compassion, for me at-least, comes down to how we talk to ourselves. Our inner voice can be many things, but it is most often critical and likes making comparisons to other mothers or our friends. Our inner voice can be useful at times too; kind, gentle and reassuring like a positive friend. But which friend are you better acquainted with?
You may be surprised to know that most people have an average of 60,000 thoughts per day (40 thoughts per minute), so how many of yours are self-beating, critical or disempowering?
Studies suggest 60-75% of our thoughts each day can be negative, so learning to have more positive thoughts makes a lot of sense, especially when we talk about cultivating emotional self-care and self-compassion.
As each mother begins to give herself the gift of a more loving inner voice, she begins to act with more self-compassion and her day flows more easily, calmly and enjoyably.
It also makes it easier for her to accept the simple truth that as mothers we are always doing the best that we can.
How then do you bring more self-compassion into your day?
Start to pay more attention to your thoughts and notice where you are critical or kind to yourself. Begin to really admit to yourself when you are feeling over stretched and find a friend or a healthy habit to help you release this frustration.
Allow yourself to consciously begin letting go of frustration and self-criticism (hypnosis and meditation are great tools for this), knowing that those negative thoughts don’t help us feel compassionate or happier about ourselves.
To change how you think about you, you can ask questions like:
- What can I do now to make this day a little easier for me?
- What do I need to think about or focus on, to feel good about myself today?
- What things am I doing as a mum that I’m really proud of right now?
With practice, we get better at turning our thoughts and mindset towards one of self-love, self-care and self-compassion. And if you need more help, get in touch with a mindset coach to support yourself in having more compassion sooner.
Bree Taylor Molyneaux is a Brisbane based women’s self-care + happiness coach specialising in fertility, pregnancy + birth, motherhood + beyond.
She is an experienced HypnoBirthing® practitioner who coaches women on self-care, runs restorative + self-care retreats, and has a range of hypnosis albums suitable for fertility through to relaxations for mums available on iTunes.