It’s very easy in a masculine world to approach everything in a masculine way. But it makes more sense to approach postpartum from a feminine perspective.
Whilst the masculine way of doing things is related to advice and information and fixing and solving, a more feminine way of supporting mothers involves listening and holding space and inspiring and affirming.
As a Postpartum Professional, whether you are a doula, midwife, yoga teacher or mothers groups facilitator, resist the urge to fall into the trap of approaching postpartum from a masculine mindset. We all know that books don’t have all the answers. Babies don’t come with a manual because mums can actually manage just fine without one if only we can quiet the noise and allow them to tune into their intuition.
When you truly believe that woman are capable and intelligent then you don’t need to rescue your clients. Advice and information can cause problems where they didn’t previously exist. They can cause agitation when before there was satisfaction. And it’s often outside of the scope of your role to give advice!
When you feel the urge to offer advice, ask yourself:
1. Are you showing off your skills and knowledge or truly acting in loving service?
Sometimes we when we lack confidence we think we need to prove ourselves by showing off how much we know.
2. Do you have enough time for big emotions?
When time is limited we tend to jump into fixing and solving mode.
3. Do you have the emotional capacity to be there for your client?
Can you witness their pain? Are you supported enough to support your client?
Instead of giving advice and information, instead of fixing and solving, there is some simple question you can use as a framework for all of your work. Simply ask your clients questions and listen to their answers.
Do you want to share with me what you are afraid of?
Were you ok with that happening?
How does that feel for you?
Does it bring you peace and joy?